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Currently sitting in the Atlanta Airport, we don’t fly out for Miami until 5 am. Looking back upon these past two weeks, it truly was revealed to me how much God can do in what seems so little amount of time. My first full day at the World Race training camp, I was low on enthusiasm- the realization that I was leaving my friends and family for 3 months finally hit me. We were in a worship session and people are praying and singing around me. I’ve never been the praying out loud type and in my opinion I’m not good at praying unless it is a traditional Catholic prayer, but nonetheless I put my head to my hands and started to pray. I asked God to reveal to me His plans for me this season. I prayed for this hard, I wanted to understand why God led me to this mission trip. During prayer, a thought came into my head: It was the first of September- this month marks the 2 year anniversary of my rape. And within that moment, I realized that God was making a way for me to forgive and find peace. A few nights later, a sermon is being preached to us about forgiveness, hearing about this- I’m already weary about the topic and not exactly wanting to pay attention, but I did with awe. Towards the end of the sermon, he said to us, “Ladies, if you have ever been hurt by a man before. I repent to you. Please forgive me.” I couldn’t help, but start to cry. That night, I wrote a letter to my rapist. I recalled every single moment of that day and I allowed myself to feel the hurt and the utterly terrible pain and I let it go. At the end of the letter I wrote, “I hope you feel this wash over you wherever you are. I forgive you. I release you from me. May God bless you.” And a sense of peace finally washed over me. If I were to look back onto that memory now, I do not flinch nor loose breath, I simply move on. I found peace with my trauma.

I hadn’t exactly believed in the power of prayer. I used to associate miracles with the placebo affect: if you believe in something hard enough in your mind, it will show upon the body. I was wrong. I saw people become healed in front of me through the power of prayer. A man who’s ankle was so swollen and twisted in the beginning of the day was able to walk and jump by the end of the day due to his friends praying over him constantly.

I didn’t know about spiritual warfare or how real it could be that is. A friend of mine was dealing with nightmares and trauma, upon one night it only got worse. Throughout the group we could sense an attack within our souls. We prayed over her. Yet we could still feel this attack, we didn’t feel comfortable with sleeping so we stayed up all night praying in our tents. I was praying around my campsite. I could feel an unease in my soul that I hadn’t felt since I was younger and could only tell myself it was my running imagination. I knew this time it wasn’t. I stayed up all night praying and praying. At some point the feeling of unease disappeared. I went to the bathroom across camp. Upon walking back, I was struck with an unbearable pain in my stomach and collapsed on the road twice. I kept telling myself to just get back to my camp. I cuddled up next to the fire and prayed for the pain to leave me. Eventually, everyone else started to wake up, I went to find my team leader and fell again due to the pain. She took me to our infirmary and took my temperature. I was at 97, the pain hadn’t subsided though so we decided to wait outside for the nurse to come. One of the girls I was praying over the night before found me and started to pray over me. My head started to kill me. She left and I placed my head down on the table to attempt to rest. Next thing I know, I feel multiple hand place themselves on my back, shoulders, and head- they started to pray over me. The more they did, the worse my body’s condition got. I was violently shaking and all I could utter from my lips was that I was cold. I could feel my body trying to fight off something. Within the time of them praying over me, I spiked to a 102 fever. The decision was made to take me to the hospital where I could receive proper medication.

So much of my belief in God had been broken down and built back properly. I had never known of the exact peace that was promised in the Lord’s name. I had never believe nor witnessed the power of prayer that I had read only in the Bible. I had never fully understood the spiritual warfare that we are faced with and the dangers of the devil and what extent he will go to prevent us from knowing God. I know now more than ever that I want nothing more than to follow the will of my heavenly father. I can’t wait to see what else He reveals to me.