Three months ago, I encountered God in a way that completely changed me. I was ready to say YES to whatever He had planned for me, eager to follow Him into new adventures. But now, fast forward to today, and it’s become harder than I imagined to act with that same quick surrender—especially when it comes to my future and the promises He’s spoken over my life.
A year ago, I signed up for this race hoping to escape the city I had called home. I thought the relief of stepping away from familiarity would be my peace for nine months. But during this journey, especially while I’ve been in Thailand, God has been teaching me that even though I’ve distanced myself from what feels like a “past life,” I still have to surrender to where He’s calling me next, after the race ends.
I’ve spent many weeks wrestling with God, questioning why He’s calling me to certain places and circumstances. But deep down, I know I can no longer deny His voice. He’s asking me to surrender my idea of a “perfect” future and, instead, head back home to Texas in May to pursue college. It means laying down my missionary calling for a few years, but not walking away from my mission entirely. I believe God is showing me that I can still minister to those around me, even in the day-to-day life back home. That’s been such a comfort to me!
In the process, I’ll also be pursuing a degree that will allow me to return to the mission field one day, equipped with more tools and opportunities than I have right now. This feels like a season of preparation, where God is inviting me to embrace patience and true surrender to His perfect will.
Coming to terms with all of this hasn’t been easy. But I am so grateful for my amazing team and mentors who have helped guide me back to the heart of what matters: who God is. He is my Father. He loves me. He’s my protector. He defends me in every circumstance, and ultimately, He is my HOME. This truth anchors me, even in moments of doubt. I know that no matter what happens, everything will work out because He’s been my safety in this season. And as I prepare to return to a place that feels a bit uncomfortable, I trust that He will provide a place of belonging once again. Even in those quiet, uncertain seasons when He seems distant, He is still blessing me, still guiding me, still at work in my life.
This revelation has been such a blessing.
As I navigate this change, I’m asking for your prayers. I want my “YES” to Jesus to become a natural reflex again, just like it was when I first said YES to this journey. Please pray for strength, that I would be able to lay EVERYTHING down at the cross—my dreams, my fears, my plans—and that my heart would be filled with forgiveness, gentleness, humility, passion, and faith. Pray that even in those quiet, in-between moments, I would give God glory in every area of my life. And most importantly, please pray that I would embrace the present, instead of stressing about the future, trusting that God’s perfect plan is unfolding, even when I don’t fully see it yet.
Thank you for standing with me in prayer, in faith, and in this journey. I can’t wait to see how God moves in this next chapter.
