In Durres, I realized my faith wasn’t steadfast. When my life takes a hit, so does my faith. James says when we pray we shouldn’t doubt, that our faith shouldn’t be like the waves, tossed and turned by the wind. Faith is not trusting God for the far future or seeing God’s faithfulness in the past, but it is present. I realized my faith was something I had for my future and that I could see God working in my past but not something I had today, right now, for tomorrow. It was something for another time but that’s not faith.
My faith stays strong even when the bad I don’t expect to see, happens.
My faith stays strong even when the world contradicts my God.
My faith stays strong even when everyone around me is against me.
My faith stays strong even if a baby dies.
My faith is not based on my theology.
My faith is not based on my understandings.
My faith isn’t based on my perception of good.
My faith is not based on my experiences but my God!
My faith is the trust I put in my God today that He will turn up!
My faith has been based on my theology. What I think my God should do and when He doesn’t do the things I expect, I become disappointed and question my God. My God isn’t based on my theology. My theology has holes in it. I am not perfect, therefore, my theology is flawed. I cannot base my God upon my theology. That is the sand I am building my house on. It’s not solid or steadfast but is wiped away by the environments around it.
My theology doesn’t hold my God. My God holds my God. He defines Himself, I don’t get to do that. My God is good and He defines good. I don’t get to define good and say my God is not that. That is not my place. My place is to trust and obey even when I don’t understand. Faith is having trust when you do not understand, when you are disappointed. Faith is trust that God will do good in your life even when you cannot see any.
