I love Instagram. I love the resource it is & the resources it creates. It’s been a tool that I’ve used for years to share my life journeys from day to day adventures, grief that followed great loss & even my faith walk. It’s been a fun place to experience art, music, friendship, fashion & tummy-ache laughter.
After my brother passed away, I felt like instagram was the equivalent of an ant. But I soon found comfort in having a place to write out & share my heart & true feelings while facing loss. I saw the positive impact it had on others & the ways it connected our life experiences. It was comforting to know I wasn’t the only one facing these hardships & it reminded me I wasn’t alone.
Over some time, I got back into the swing of posting and scrolling to deposit myself into other’s lives. It was fun to show off the great & funny moments I get to walk through while very rarely revealing the real & raw that I was being delivered from. I would only be so transparent with my followers & consistently found myself quickly pulling out my phone to snap a photo with the sole intent to post for my followers to laugh, smile or relate to.
I left Instagram for a little over a year to see how much better life was without it & I never knew such a small, seemingly insignificant change like it would bring so much clarity & time to my life.
When I started fundraising again for my World Race trip, I decided I should start interacting with followers to help support & pray for my journey. I also thought how easy & impactful it could be to share the gospel with more of an inside scoop of life on missions with family & friends, hoping that one they would come to know Jesus, have an opportunity to sew into part of God’s kingdom & understand the overflowing love that motivates disciples to share the gospel around the world. Even to this day, I was posting for all the right reasons but every-time I click on the app, a sense of loneliness, a false facade & glorification of life comes over me. Instagram has never given me the satisfaction I’ve craved & seems to stress me out more than bring relaxation & rest due to its endless ability to scroll.
The enemy makes me think that if it weren’t for social media, I wouldn’t have the support I do or even any support at all. I wouldn’t have been able to raise the funds I did to continue this trip which is honestly blasphemy considering Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Philippians 4:19 also describes a God who supplies all my needs meaning if He calls me to it, He will certainly get me through it. Sure, Instagram has been used as a tool in my life but it’s not everything. Those who choose to come alongside & support my journey do so because they believe in the living God who is using me as a vessel in His Kingdom today.
I’ll definitely miss the creative side of Instagram though, every time I logged in, I felt that even my bumpers weren’t strong enough to entirely block out explicit content that brings my mind to places where God has continuously called me out of. But, I’ll miss the nostalgic music video posts, outfit inspirations, hilarious videos that I could stay up all night watching & sending to friends if I really wanted to, romantic cutie random photos that make me daydream about my future, hip christian girls that make content to reach other women through community & especially the workout videos that have catalyzed my passion for lifting.
Many of my Instagram friends are really just friends on Instagram. Some of them I only talk to through the app. Though I could be reaching & interacting with all of my followers, lately, the same question has been circling my mind, “How many friends on Instagram am I actually cultivating a deep rooted relationship with that is bringing genuine change to our lives, resulting in looking more like Jesus?” The answer is none. I believe the entirety of my so-called “relationships” on Instagram are more information filled than action filled.
I’m expectant to spend more time with Jesus. I’m actively practicing what it means to cultivate a life of prayer & intercession. I don’t want to do cool things for God. I want to experience God by being with Him. No distractions. Just me, Him & whoever else He brings along the way to just be with.
I will be deactivating my Instagram & logging off of Facebook. Please reach out with your email or phone number to stay connected & updated about the remaining of my World Race journey. I will still be creating testimonial content to share monthly via email. 💛 If your main platform used to connect with me was social media, thank you for understanding & don’t hesitate to shoot me a text/whatsapp!
contact: +1 (503)830-0361
