Hey everyone! We just finished 2 weeks of training. This means we are officially halfway through training! As I was sitting at a coffee shop writing this, I was debating on what to highlight or not to highlight. I want this blog to be honest, real, authentic and the side of missions maybe you don’t see? Maybe the side that gets hidden because highlighting the good times is seen as acceptable. Although I want mine to tell others that EVEN through the hard times on missions, that Jesus reigns over my feelings. This year I have been called to lay down comfortability, normality, and so much more at the feet of Jesus. So with that as I was driving here on the first day, I was excited but nervous because yet again I was leaving my family. Thoughts kept flooding my mind “would I be homesick too fast?, “am I going to fall away from you and focus too much on self ideals?, What if I wasn’t called to go here?” I let the devil speak more death into my life than God speak truth into me.
So.. you have an idea of what my mind was telling me before driving into the organization… YET Jesus knew that I hear and understand truth and love through words. So ironically one morning, I was reading my Bible and I found a note to myself FROM myself a couple months prior stating;
“Im really going to world race, it’s all for you- it doesn’t matter where I go or how much I do something because I’m going to know more of you. I am going to serve the king of kings. Nothing else but to fully love you, no matter the cost or the tears when times get hard. I am going to become your best friend, to know you in depths I’ve never known before. Thank you Jesus for a fresh filling of you. LIKE I, little old me gets to be by your side and with you. HOW AMAZING!”
So why do I lean so much on my words and others and not enough of Jesus’? Thats what Jesus has taught me these past 2 weeks. By myself, I’m mere words that scramble together, can be put in perfect order for others to see and hear but by myself I let words of others tear me down? So why do I do that when JESUS himself wrote 66 books for me to discover and hear his simple yet authoritative voice?
Through the uncomfortable nights sleeping in my tent, getting sick, shin splints and the list goes on.. I’d always go back to the times that when I allowed myself to know Jesus in depths I hadn’t before well thats when I’d enter into the Holy place.
So why do I allow hard times to dictate the way Jesus speaks to me?
He is always speaking, breathing life into me. Truly I have breathe in my lungs because he lives. He tells me I am seen, valued and known and the greatest commandment of all is that we love others like Christ loves us.
So even with hard times during training camp, being uncomfortable and worn out going from mission to mission. Well I have been reminded that anytime I look at the face of Jesus, the uncomfortable seasons are worth everything. That he alone has changed my life and lived a LIFE SO UNCOMFORTABLE.. for me? How crazy and wild his that? A man love some so much he lived a life that was hard beyond measures because he loves me.
So Jesus is alive and active! The one thing I would take away from this blog is that the hard times don’t discount what Jesus does or is doing. He is changing and moving in my life REGARDLESS of how I feel. So thank you Jesus for who you are. Like an honor that I get to know you the way I do. This season is truly a divine interruption. 
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