Somehow we will be in Nicaragua tomorrow! I thought this day would never arrive, yet it seems to have come so quickly! And somehow, I can say that I will miss training camp. I’ll miss my tent, the heat and being outside, the small portions, the sessions and worship. Two things I don’t think I’ll miss so much are the porta potties and the shipping container showers. But overall, I am so thankful for these past 5 weeks and the way they have prepared me and given me time to process what the next 8 months will look like. This past week was debrief, all about processing and preparing. Looking back, I was not able to do as much of that as I would’ve liked, but still feel much better about Nicaragua than I did before. Entering the week, my heart was heavy as it really hit me how long I will be gone from my family and how I will not be able to be near them during the highs and lows. But the week ended joyfully as we had our final revival night and we got to celebrate this week with our coaches! Throughout the week, we had many different activities, including squad sessions, team debrief, an adventure day, and sabbath.
For our adventure day, we got to go to the town of Helen, which is a German town and in a way reminded me of Pella. All the buildings looked German and looked good together! There were many things to do, but I chose to do a small hike to a waterfall! God was very present in this hike because it was supposed to cost us $45 to get in, but by the grace of God, the worker let us in for only $5! The waterfall was beautiful and we actually got to talk to two ladies and they ended up praying over us and taking a picture with us! And, the sheer beauty of the waterfall was a great reminder of God’s power and creativity. After we got back from the hike, we got some fudge and started talking to this man and asked him if He knew Jesus, he said no, but when we asked if he would like to hear about him, he said that he doesn’t get involved in religion. Our leader said that that is one of the only times she has been rejected. So we did what we could and prayed for him on our own! It was interesting facing opposition, but also a good reminder that we cannot soften the hearts of others, only God can. We ended adventure day at the lake watching a beautiful sunset and swimming!
On Friday night, we had our last revival night, but it was different than all the other ones. The music was softer and there was just a calmer spirit. And also through the night, it was kinda like open mic, if anyone had anything the Lord had put on their hearts, they could share it. At the beginning of worship, the lord reminded me of the song Costly by Maverick city which says
Here is my alabaster
Poured out in Worship
Here is my full surrender
I know it’s worth it
Some say it’s to expensive
I say it’s not enough
How could I give too much?
Let it be costly
And this reminded me of the story of the woman pouring her oil on Jesus’ feet. But on the way to that passage, I landed on Luke 14:25-35 which is headed as “The cost to follow Jesus.” Jesus gives two analogies of what it costs to follow him, but verse 33 says “In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.” And that really struck me. Am I really willing to give up EVERYTHING? Not just the physical, but also the emotional. My hopes, dears, pains, joys, insecurities, pride, schedule, agenda, family, relationships, passions, everything. And then I thought, why is it so costly? Isn’t life with Jesus so much better? So why is it hard to give up everything? And the Lord was just said “Because you have to lay all your eggs at my feet.” He wants me to take all the eggs from my basket and put them at His feet. And the reason this costs so much is because we have to fully trust that the Lord will take care of all of it. That my eggs will not be broken. And I know this is a really weird analogy, but at this point I’ve just accepted that the Lord gives me odd images. But in laying my eggs, my everything at Jesus’ feet, I don’t have to worry about them any more. I can live in freedom and not have to be careful about anything. I can live in freedom and dance and sing and live in the fullness of His freedom! But I want to protect it all. I want to make sure that my everything stays safe. And Satan comes and tells me that God will not protect me, that He will misuse my trust and I should protect what I have with all I have. He tells me that I shouldn’t put all my eggs in one basket, that it is better to trust other things, not God. He points out how everyone else puts their eggs in other things. Friendships, money, comfort, knowledge. And that’s why it’s costly, because it’s countercultural! I’m excited to see how the Lord continues to work on this in my life. Because I have not given God my everything. I haven’t given Him what he deserves, but I long to put all I have, my everything at His feet!
Prayer Requests
- Safe travels to Nicaragua tomorrow
- That we would be willing to step out in faith and be lights in the airport
- An open attitude to our ministry in Nicaragua
- That the heart of the Nicaraguans would be open to hear the gospel
