fundraising… how’s it been going?

I’ve gotten this question a lot over the past month of my fundraising process and to be honest I never really know how to respond. Do I tell them that I have been worried about it? That I haven’t accomplished as much as I wanted to so far? Or do I simply smile and say it’s been going good? Honestly I usually don’t tell those who ask what I’m really feeling and I have decided that stops today. If I’m not being honest and pouring out my fears to my community so they can surround me then how will I ever be successful? So, here is how fundraising has truly been going.

While yes, it’s only been a month, I feel like it has been ages. There have been many highs and lows so far and the Lord has taught me so much through each of them. From the moment I announced my decision, I realized that I had to let go of all of my expectations. I expected to have donations rolling in as the moment people knew what I was doing. I had a number in my head of how the first week would go. Wow was it hard to let go of all of that. I had to learn that what I wanted to see and the plan I had devised was absolutely nothing compared to the one He had. Along with that, I also was taught that the whole fundraising thing isn’t a one day sacrifice type of deal. Instead, this is a process of laying it down at His feet everyday, and more often than not, multiple times a day. If I feel like I am holding my future and that I have control (or a lack of) then I am doing something wrong. On the more practical side of things I have learned to soak everything in prayer. Before making any post or announcement, pray. While writing thank you notes, pray. While talking to someone about my call, pray. This is the only way I can expect for Him to move. I can’t move the hearts of His people to support me, only the Holy Spirit can.

What I’m clinging to the most at the moment is that I will see His goodness. He might wait until the very second moment to fulfill His promise to me, but I know that He will. The Lord reminded me of Hebrews 11- known as the hall of faith- a chapter that purely focuses on testimonies of people’s faith and the Lord’s faithfulness. One specific story stuck out to me. It was the story of Abraham. Hebrews 11:8-10 (MSG translation) says, “By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God’s call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home. When he left he had no idea where he was going. By an act of faith he lived in the country promised him, lived as a stranger camping in tents. Isaac and Jacob did the same, living under the same promise. Abraham did it by keeping his eye on an unseen city with real, eternal foundations—the City designed and built by God”. When I read this I wept. I knew that the Lord was telling me that He saw me- He saw my obedience in the unknown and He wanted to tell me that it was going to be okay, He was going to take care of me.

To answer the question “How’s fundraising been going?”, I say “It hasn’t been what I expected and it hasn’t been easy, but I know that He is going to take care of me”.