This year God has been teaching me so many things that sometimes I feel like my head will explode. God is loving, gentle, kind, provider, protector, just, and trustworthy. He speaks through his word and his Spirit. He leads us and invites us to partner with him in obedience. This past month God reminded me specifically that I can trust him as a provider.
In September, my best friend and I flew to Australia and spent several months backpacking the east coast of Australia, Indonesia, and Thailand. Our prayer was to see people give their lives to Christ in hostels. We begged God to use us as ambassadors of the gospel and to show his glory in radical ways. And He did. God was so faithful to lead us in seeing our wildest faith dreams come true and we experienced leading a girl to Christ on the floor of a hostel in Indonesia. Those months were not only so much fun but also led to a deep increase in my faith and belief that God loves bold prayers and moves of faith.
Fast forward to February, I’m back in Wilmington, living paycheck to paycheck for the first time trusting God to meet my daily needs. I’m gripping to truths of His Word and encouraged by seeing his love and provision in every area of my life. Well, then my car fails its inspection because it needs four new tires. If there is one thing in my life that brings me to prayer it is my car because truly that thing is only living on a prayer. I reluctantly pay Walmart $400 for tires knowing full well that is nearly all the dollars in my bank account.
I then start digging into God’s word knowing he is trustworthy and worthy of my time and attention and there is no point in spiraling about money. As I’m reading I hear the small quiet voice of God asking me to buy a tent. For context, a tent is one of the things on the packing list for the Race that I have not even begun to think about buying. I whip out my computer and google “tents for cheap” and apparently google and I have different definitions for cheap because they were just starting at $100. I began to talk to God with raw honesty essentially saying, “What the heck God? I don’t have the money for a tent. Why would you ask me to buy that right now.” Logic takes over and I tell God that money needs to go to essentially anything besides a tent right now.
God in his patience and love reminds me of Genesis 22 which I had been studying earlier that week. Genesis 22 is the story of Abraham and Isaac. To summarize, God promised Abraham that he would make him a great nation in Genesis 12. Then in Genesis 15, God reminds Abraham of his promise even though Abraham is old and still without children. Finally, in Genesis 21, God makes good on his promise and Abraham has a son named Isaac. Right as Abraham is feeling the fulfillment of God’s word come to pass with Isaac, God asks Abraham to do something wild. In Genesis 22, God asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. That’s right the son that God gave Abraham he then asks him to kill. The wildest part is that Abraham does it because he trusts God to that extent. He acted in obedience because he believed so strongly that God would provide. That trust paid off because right as Abraham lifted the knife to sacrifice Isaac an angel of the Lord called out to Abraham blessing him for his obedience and showing that there was a ram nearby for him to sacrifice instead. God provided an animal for Abraham to sacrifice in place of Isaac.
Now back to the tent situation. As I reread Genesis 22, I am hit with the revelation that it is not really about having a tent. It is God asking me to use my finances to partner with him in the things He has asked me to be obedient to. Ultimately trusting that he will provide. He knows that it is the most inconvenient time for me to be obedient with finances but that is why it is the perfect time to ask me to have faith. Then when God provides he alone will get the glory. That night I sat on a couch sharing with my best friend all of what God taught me about trusting God fully with my finances and partnering with what he has asked me to do. Her response was simple “so, did you buy the tent”. Reluctantly, I said, “no, not yet, I’m working up the faith and will by tomorrow”. We then start chatting about other things for about twenty minutes until out of nowhere she stops and says, “Grace, I am going to buy your tent. I’ve been asking God for weeks for ways to support you both financially and emotionally as you prepare for the Race and I think this is him giving me an opportunity. I want to buy you a tent.” I immediately refuse saying that is too generous and after her insistence, I say “Woah, you are the ram from Genesis 22. God is using you to provide what he told me to sacrifice in obedience”.
The rest of the night I felt in a complete daze with God. In awe of his kindness and provision. Humbled that he asked me for obedience. Thankful for his nature and desire to strengthen our faith and trust in him.
Grace
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