Well it’s been a year since the World Race ended. It’s crazy to think that so much time has passed and to reflect on the past year of life. It turns out that the long, dreadful 18 hour flight from Cape Town to Atlanta was really just the beginning of a slow and difficult return to the valley. At our final debrief we talked in length about what it looks like to come down from a “mountaintop experience”. But truly all the discussion in the world couldn’t have prepared me for the realness of that process. The grief and grasping, the longing and loneliness, the struggle and surrender.
It was in the first months that I got to know the God of the first valley. The valley of heartache. It was here that I met God as the God of all comfort. By worldly standards it looked like I had returned to a life of comfort, but in my heart it felt as if all sources of comfort had been stripped away until only the Lord himself remained. I found him as the God of compassion. One who felt my pain and my grief with me. One who understood the feeling of loss and wept alongside me for all that I had given up.
As I began to settle into my new normal I entered another valley. The valley of the mundane. After traveling the world and seeing God move in incredible ways on the daily, my new routine often felt boring and lacking purpose. I found myself asking “Is this all there is? And will life after the Race ever feel like enough?” And it was there in my questioning that I met the God of contentment. A very personal God who knows exactly what delights my heart. A God who is found even in the smallest details; the giver of every good gift. I got to know this side of God most intimately through gratitude. By fostering an awareness of His presence and kindness in the little things, the things I once missed in my disdain for the mundane. I discovered the God who grants new perspective and slowly but surely He gave me eyes to see the life I was living as the promised land.
And now I feel like I have entered another valley. The valley of uncertainty. Up until now I thought I had it all planned out and believed I could see my future so clearly. But it turns out that my grand plan ended at the Race and now it’s hard to see the road ahead. It is in this valley that I am learning to truly trust the God who is in control. The One who over the past year has opened doors for dreams that I didn’t even realize I had and opportunities that I could have never imagined. He has always provided for me even when I doubted He would. As a planner who struggles with fear of the future, the valley of uncertainty is unsettling. But time and time again I have seen the Lord’s faithfulness and am beginning to fully believe that his plans are greater than mine.
After this past year I’m coming to realize that most of life is lived in one valley or another. We don’t reside on the mountaintop, but rather in the mundane, uncertain, and sometimes difficult valleys of life. But this is not cause for despair, for the valley is not a place of desolation but of rich, abundant life. The valley is where the Lord walks alongside us, where we lean on Him in deep dependence. The valley is where we discover aspects of God’s character in ways we never could have in the heights. The valley is not a bad place, it is full of beauty and growth. And yes it is hard, but it is also holy.
So thank you Lord for the valleys the you have lead me through this past year. For always being faithful, even when I was not. For being patient with me and teaching me patience as well. For giving me new dreams and desires and making a way for them. For the new memories I’ve made and that looking back on old memories fills me with more joy than sorrow now. Thank you for the learning and growing. The trying and failing. The forgiveness and healing. Thank you that you’ve always been present and working. Thank you that you never fail me nor forsake me. Never forget me nor abandon me. Thank you that there is comfort and contentment in the valley because you are in control through it all.
B🤍
