HI everyone we are only 3 short weeks away from leaving Thailand and heading to Cambodia our last stop on this once in a lifetime trip! I wanted to touch base with you quickly to share some updates with you!
First thank you all for the prayers, my ankle has been healing well and I am feeling much better. The power of prayer is incredible and especially corporate prayer. This is a tool used time and time again especially in the Old Testament and it is awesome to see how when we gather together in like minded prayer the Lord hears us and is faithfully always working on our behalf. So thank you all!
The majority of this update I want to talk about spiritual warfare, something that I find is not discussed very often in the western church but as I have been abroad have found to be a very real thing. Here in Thailand is no exception. Did you know that the first Christian missionaries arrive din Thailand over 200 years ago and currently less than 1% of the population identifies as being a believer in Christ? To me that is a staggering statistic. Surely it is not due to a lack of effort or genuine desire to grow the church from them missionaries at work here. So what is it that has caused such little growth over the past few centuries? I think that there are quite a few factors at play in this situation and most of them stem from cultural and generational beliefs passed down through out the years. For instance sexual immorality is hardly even viewed as immoral here, it is only seen as a transaction that helps provide for a family. There is no awareness of the spiritual implications these activities have and what they can do to a persons soul. I have also witnessed many young people express the lack of community and friends spending most of their time isolated from others and simply doing what they desire day to day. Don’t get me wrong I love it here and the people are very kind but it is like a spirit of apathy hovers over this place. It is like the underlying tone is “this is where I am at, there isn’t much I can do about it and so be it”. I have heard this lie in my own faith walk, often times shrouded in deceit and confusion. Although deep down I do not think that I have slipped into a state of apathy, I do hear those words spoken over me in my mind daily. This has not been something I have wrestled with since the beginning of the trip and I am quick to discern and identify that these are voices from the deceiver set out to destroy and up end my growth with the Father. It is like what is written in the ScrewTape Letters if you have read that book. The spiritual warfare here is much more cunning and passive than I have previously experienced. In the past the battles I have faced have been the likes of nightmares, lies, and a negative interpersonal relationship view. Here it is much more subtle, not so obvious and easy to identify. I find myself trying to earn my relationship with God and wondering why He would choose someone like me to call His son. I know why He has chosen me and I know that the gift of salvation is just that, a gift, not something that I can earn. Although tricky and cunning it is clear that what Ephesians 6:12 says is at play here: “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” So how do we go about fighting this spiritual battle? For my life personally there have been 3 major ways in which I have found victory in these moments. The way in which I conquer these attacks is through prayer, meditating on scripture and recalling testimonies from my life that affirm God’s love for me and presence in my life. I would really like to focus on the last on in that list as the Lord has given me so many testimonies to solidify my faith and belief in His divine working in my life and that I hear His voice better than I think I do.
Ok before I share this story I want to make it abundantly clear that all glory in this moment belongs to the Lord, that in fact I acted in disobedience and through His steadfast love, He full of mercy and grace gently guided me into participating in His works. This is not a story of my perfect obedience (because I was not haha) this is a story of how God uses even our imperfect moments to further His kingdom and also give us testimonies of His work to strengthen our relationship with Him. Ok, to lay the ground work an aspect of the spiritual warfare our team has been battling has been dealing with and talking about finances. As I mentioned before this is a transactional culture so it is only fitting this is the area where we are getting attacked and found to be vulnerable. With that being said the Lord put it on my heart a few days ago to make a donation to a friend who has been more than faithful in giving to me, to the church and to everyone around them. However for whatever reason I found myself hesitant to follow through and act in obedience. I had been trying hard to save which I am not good at naturally and thought there was no way that I should be giving this money away. So for the next 2 days I spent the majority of my time awake pondering my disobedience being convicted in my spirit and trying to reconcile consciously denying the will of God. Not an easy thing to reconcile I must say. Ultimately the Lord was faithful and kind to remind me that I need to trust Him with my finances. Leading up to this trip I witnessed the greatest show of His provision I have ever experienced in my life. Why then only 8 months later was I questioning what His plans for my finances were, and worse yet why did I think that I knew better? After much conviction and revelation I did submit and reached out to my friend for their venmo. This was when the true show of God’s grace became evident. The response I got from my friend was “wow God’s timing is crazy”. It turns out that not 5 minutes before me texting them their car had broken down on the way to meet up with friends. How wild is that? Not only was God’s timing perfect for my friends financial need it was also perfect for my needs as well. God showed me yet again that His plan is perfect and far better than my own. He also gave me a testimony and a reminder that I do hear from Him very clearly. Despite the warfare that I had been facing about my identity in Christ and ability to hear Him, He showed me in a major way that I do in fact hear from Him and therefore I need to obey His voice. I didn’t deserve to be used by Him in this moment and I certainly did not deserve to have Him so graciously remind me that He is with me and speaking to me all the time. Yet being a good Father He gave me the gift of confirming that I hear from Him and allowing me to still participate in His work despite my disobedience at first. It is never to late to obey what the Lord is putting on your heart to do, even when it seems like it may be a sacrifice or something challenging to fulfill He is calling you to action for your benefit not His. He would have provided for my friend in another way I am certain of it but when we act in obedience we get to take part in His work and receive the testimonies that will be our foundation when we are under spiritual attack. For me there is no greater defense against spiritual attack than to recall all that the Lord has done for me in this life.
“My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day,
for their number is past my knowledge. With the mighty deeds of the Lord God I will come;
I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone.”
Psalm 71:15-16 ESV
