Well, it’s been just over a month since I’ve landed back in the good ol’ US of A and dang. It’s been a month.
I would like to preface this blog by saying I did let myself rest.
For about a week.
And then the Holy Spirit said something like “go to Young Life camp” and so I went! I texted my area director and asked if they needed any help and she left me a voicemail that asked if I could go to camp and that it started in two days. UM HECK YES! I got to lead a cabin filled with the sweetest middle school girls and had the best student leader with me!
I felt so refreshed at camp! So renewed! And while you don’t get much sleep (or any if your in those early leader meetings), you leave with an overflow of the Father’s love for His children! And for you!
I was sitting in those clubs and cabin times and absolutely thriving!!! Smiling and laughing and leading through Holy Spirit! And I was living out my calling within a week of being home. Now that’s pretty sweet of God.
And He gave me the gift of sitting with Him when I really needed it.
I began to process the race a whole lot at Crooked Creek Ranch. And it was harder than I thought. There was so much that God did this last year. And there was some stuff that I struggled with along the way. I had one day that could have looked like a sabbath even though I was running around doing my leader things! But to my heart, it was a sabbath. I cried and worshipped and rested in my spare time and the Lord was so presently with me. Allowing me to feel the sadness admits such joy.
The rest of my time at home has looked like spontaneous road trips for one night to go see some friends from college and flying back east to see family and friends who feel like family. Lots of coffee and coffee shops and sleeping in like I never have before. It’s been getting back into a workout routine and feeding my body nourishing food. It’s been keeping a sabbath and finding the most rest in Jesus. It’s being satisfied in Him when everything that once was familiar feels so foreign. It’s been trusting Him when things from my past come up and I have to chose to know that He is still so good. I’ve been starting my habits early and prioritizing myself in healthy and holy ways and the Lord has been so gracious with me every step of the way.
Home has been sweet, but the processing has been hard. In a lot of ways I simply don’t fit in here. I’m just too different. Praise God. I love looking so different for His kingdom! And it was the race that has embedded in me that kingdom culture that I live out daily. I don’t fit in with the worldly culture around me, but I’ll definitely be around it to point people to Jesus!!
If you know me really well, then you know that the world race has been a dream of mine that I’ve had since middle school. Throughout the years, I had always wondered why God was asking me to do such a crazy, bold thing. I don’t have a definitive answer, but here’s what I do know.
I needed to grow.
I needed to heal.
I needed to completely step away from my environment.
I needed to figure out who I am.
I needed to come out of agreement with lies I’ve been believing.
I needed to solidify my confidence in the One who gives it.
I needed to strip my identity of everything that is not Jesus.
I needed to completely root myself in Him.
And God did all of that in me on the race. And it was beautiful and messy and fun and hard.
So now, the eternal question. What’s next???
I’m planning on being home til about January. For the fall semester I’ll continue with Young Life as an adult leader for the high school girls! I’m going to a awesome church with an incredible young adult ministry! And I’m finding a job or two to keep me occupied. I’m going to start to look for full time employment soon to hopefully start in the spring!!
The race also lead me to dream beyond the one thing I always have. It lead me to dream up working in student ministry full time and taking them overseas on mission during the summers! I know in my bones that student ministry and stateside and international missions is all I ever wanna do!! The race made it abundantly clear that youth ministry is my calling (go read my Albania blogs for more on that) and now I’m looking for nothing less. I’d love to work at a church, with Young Life, or maybe even start my own mission organization one day…..
The world race is almost an indescribable experience and I’d love to talk to you one on one to fully explain all that Jesus did in me and through me. If you want to hear more about any of this or just to catch up, text me at 919-455-1801. I’d love to grab coffee. I have so many stories that I couldn’t share on social media or this blog for safety reasons and I’d love to glorify the Lord in His work by sharing them!
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