hi & welcome back to the blog!
I brought coffee today, so let’s take a seat, sip and chat a bit!
Tuesday, October 7th
The preparation for our travels to Malaysia began the weekend before, but nothing felt 100% real. We had all packed up many times, whether for situations, Mississippi, hiking, or rain storms, the concept of packing up our tents, and packs was familiar. Yet this weekend had an added weight, a stress we hadn’t felt before. Frantically weighing our bags, throwing stuff away, contacting family and friends to come pick up belongings, or stressing about how we even got it all here. By the time Tuesday morning creeped in Gap M was the only group left on campus, the 34 remaining of the original 200-300 racers. All waking weary eyed, knowing the next few days would be a blur of flights, airports, bus rides, and so many more unpredictable interactions. The day started with our last camp breakfast and then the chaos of cleaning the entire camp began, a true team building experience. One hour before packing up in the vans some of my fellow teammates enjoyed a homemade soap water slide down the camp hill, little things like this remind me of just how important childlike joy is.
The next thing I know we arrive at the Atlanta airport, check our bags, find our gate and board our 13.5 hour flight to Qatar. Qatar, the most peaceful and breathtaking airport I have ever been in! Everything from the brown leather chairs, bamboo wall designs, soothing and warm lights, natural cafes, quiet lounges, and uniquely creative art throughout. Though my favorite of them all, an indoor biosphere called “The Orchard”, a breathtaking tangle of plants, trees, waterfalls, birds, and pathways, a mental escape from the hustle of an airport – peace. After only 3 incredibly short hours in Qatar we boarded our 7.5 hour flight to Malaysia, landing at 8am local time, gathering our group and packs to embark on a 6 hour bus ride to our host location. Arriving 41 hours and 10 minutes after embarking on this journey, tired, sore, slightly anxious and curious for our next adventure in Sungai Petani, Kedah Malaysia. I am now 15 hours ahead of my family and friends in the PNW and 12 hours ahead of training camp in Georgia, creating an interesting balance of communication.
One week
We will be in Malaysia for 40 days, being hosted by a local church called Bethel assembly, our new best friends P.T (pastor Thomas), Jessica, Paul, & Jovel! They have been the most warm and welcoming people ever! Providing us with their whole church as housing, which by the grace of God has AC in the sleeping space, musical instruments, bathrooms and makeshift showers! Though it may be not king sized beds and baths we find our own sort of comfort and luxury. Through many of PT connections we get fresh bread and spreads for breakfast every morning and home made meals for lunch and dinner, usually consisting of rice, chicken, a veggie, and curry sauce! Gap M is cool, fed, and grateful for the unity and bonding that Malaysia is teaching us! Our weekly ministry and outreach keeps us on our feet, but the mornings are usually consistent with teaching kids how to read, write, and do English math. Our afternoons are spent at local cafes soaking up coffee and pastries and a much needed nap. Evening with more adult and teen focused outreach, sometimes messages, plays/skits, dinners, dances, house visits etc, all lasting late into the night. The biggest ministry Malaysia is providing us has been growing as a team in friendship and respect. Learning to not just laugh together but to live, care, give feedback, and ultimately love another, which then bleeds into the people and communities we are serving.
Mindsets – Week 1
With full transparency, Malaysia has brought many difficult mindset shifts, causing a tsunami of new emotions for teammates and I alike. The thing weighing heavy on my heart is the people I’m constantly surrounded by. With honesty, my squad and team have struggled to fully bond and unifi, we often retreat to gossip and clicks, finding comfort in worldly pleasures and luxury. This slapped us in the face when every single thing we treated as a “nesciesty” at camp was stripped away as we entered Malaysia. Including the personal space tents provided. Many of my personal worries followed the lines of…How can we lay down our pride and past? How do we unify in friendship and mindset? How do we bond? Why are we clashing? Malaysia has provided an unique opportunity to solve and answer these. When we arrived we discovered we were all sleeping and operating out of the same two rooms while at the host base. One for sleeping and studying, and the other for meals and socializing. We very quickly 34 of us had to learn personal boundaries, respect, and responsibility. Though the squad is bonding I still find myself slipping through the cracks and choosing to isolate even more. Popping in noise canceling earbuds every chance given, leaving the space when given the opportunity, retreating to my 2 x 7 ft sleeping pad, & sitting to the side observing and judging my peers. I am so consistently overwhelmed with people, opinions, and noise, I never feel refreshed enough to choose to pour into social interactions. My mind has been a maze of emotions in Malaysia and now new questions and concerns cloud my thoughts. How do I unwind? Where do I go to refresh? And am I the only one on “the outside”? I want more than anything to choose joy, to pour into the community I am so closely surrounded with. I crave connection, and yet I choose distance.
This leads to my topic of struggle throughout the world: race, judgment. No matter where I am, what I’m doing, or who I’m with I find myself having something to internally judge about it. Through mentorship, connection, and expressed curiosity I was able to overcome this while training came. Learning to express myself, processing and sorting my emotions so I was able to refresh and enjoy my interactions without hidden guilt or judgment. But stepping foot into Malaysia has felt as though it erased my progress. I retreat to myself, not understanding the language, culture, schedule (or lack thereof), & ministry. When tasked with connecting and teaching children I fail to feel filled with joy, and when interacting with adults I fail to bring insight and smiles to the conversation. I see myself trapped inside my mind, battling the emotions and judgment. I want to be free, to be joyful, to explore this beautiful culture and country without the chains of my mind.
Mindset – Week 2
Woah. What a shift I feel as I enter week 2 in Malaysia. Rereading past notes and journals has been so clarifying for growth. Within the last couple of days alone I have felt a new refreshment and joy as I settle into the swing of My life. Sometime as humans we get so caught up in our internal emotions we forget about the importance of connecting and expressing with the community around us. “It takes a village” it’s just about raising a child, it’s about living and operating in and with people, unity. The donting emotions that weighed over me last week now encourage me to pursue and live. Of course I still crave indepence, alone time, and personal space but now I can feel myself choosing to pour into my team. To embrace teaching children English even though I feel extremely unqualified, to share my life stories with adults, to reach out to squad-mates to bond. I see myself choosing to smile, to find joy, & to embrace my bold character and use it for the benefit of the team.
Ephesians 4:22-24
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Colossians 3:10.
“And have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”
Please keep me in your prayers & thoughts – growth starts in a seed & mindset!
BTW!!
Still in need of monthly supporters!!
I would love to be connected with any friends, families, businesses, or churches interested in supporting young adults in missions!!
Thank you so much for reading through my thoughts! Until the next sit down and sip!
With many adventures & much love!
Aliya Koziol 🙂
