I can’t believe that I’ve already been here for almost 2 weeks. It feels like I just got here, but simultaneously feels like I’ve been here for years (not in a bad way). We adjusted to Malaysia really fast, which was nice because now our hosts feel like family, and we already have favorite stores and coffee shops. It’s actually kind of crazy how familiar it feels here, but I think it’s making it easier, so that’s nice. I also think one of the reasons is that we’re surrounded by other Christian’s so often, so we have something major and important in common and it makes it more familiar.
Ministry has been so fun, yet also a major challenge. Each of the racers has a child that they’re personally teaching math and English. Their ages range from 5-17 (I think). This ministry is solely focused on teaching, and we actually aren’t allowed to share the gospel with them. These kids are Muslim, and in Malaysia it’s illegal to convert Muslims to any other religion, so we have to show them Christ through our actions and pray that the Lord will reveal Himself to them. However, we can tell them about Jesus if they ask us about it first. Also, once they finish their schooling here, which is about 5 years, Pastor Thomas is trying to send them to other countries to finish their education and to also get preached the gospel. So, there’s a lot of faith involved that God will work through our actions and also that they get the chance to go to those other countries to actually hear and learn about the gospel.
The little girl I’m teaching is named Aisyah Bibi and she’s 9. She has no siblings, so she comes to school filled with what seems like never ending energy. She’s so sweet and fun, and she loves me so much. From day one she was super attached to me, she chose me to be her teacher, it was so sweet. She really likes math, but English is a bit of a challenge. She’s doing really well though, and she’s definitely learning stuff already, which is really exciting. There have been a few times where she’ll be really struggling with something and I have to explain it over and over, and write it out and show it to her so many times, but then she finally gets it and I get so excited that the struggle and frustration from before is so worth it. In those moments I can’t help but feel like that’s what God feels like when He’s trying to show us something that can apply to our lives and faith but we just aren’t getting it. He has it written out in His word, and shows us through situations and teachings, but we still don’t get it. But then, finally, it clicks and God is filled with so much joy because He knows how helpful and important that thing is for us. It’s kind of cool seeing God show that side of Him to me through something like teaching a child math and English. I’m literally not even speaking His name or reading the Bible, yet He is still revealing Himself to me. God is so cool and amazing.
God has also been showing me a lot through worship, which is making me understand more and more why He has me in the role of worship coordinator. Last Friday we had church, and they started singing a song that we sang at training camp called “Yeshua”. If you didn’t know, Yeshua is one of God’s names. Something really hit me while we were singing that song: God is universal, especially His name. Back at training camp we were singing a song that people halfway across the world are also singing in church, and the whole song is just singing God’s name. That is the only song we have sung in church since being here that we have understood. It’s just amazing and eye opening how universal God’s name is. He really is Lord and King over all.
On Wednesdays we all split into groups and then go to something called house church. Basically, we got assigned to a family, and each week we go to their house with worship and a teaching prepared that can lead to a small group discussion. My group consists of me, 3 other racers, and then 2 women, one of them being the translator. So technically, we’re teaching for 1 person, but that’s perfectly fine. The woman lives by herself because all of her sons are grown and working out of the house, and her husband sadly passed during covid. Some of her sons aren’t saved, so we’ve been praying for them, and that she could be a light to them. If you guys could be praying for them as well, that would be so greatly appreciated.
That’s all I have for ministry updates, but I wanted to share a bit of what I’ve been reading in my personal bible time and what God has been speaking to me.
– The topic of the Holy Spirt has been something that I’ve been hearing a lot of and reading about, specifically living in and also being baptized in the Holy Spirit. This isn’t a topic I know a whole lot about, and it’s one of those things in our faith that we don’t have a full understanding on, and probably won’t until we get to heaven, if then. However, there definitely is stuff that I can learn more about, and I have the desire to understand more about it. From what I’ve read and asked my leaders about, I’ve learned that there is a difference between having the Holy Spirit in us and having Him come upon us. *I don’t have a perfect understanding yet, so please be gracious and maybe correct me if I say something wrong, then I’ll correct it. Thanks!
– We have the Holy Spirit in us from the moment we accept Christ into our hearts, and this is how He speaks to us and guides us in our life and decisions. (John 14:16-17&26, John 16:13). This is the aspect of the Holy Spirit that we live by and keep in step with. (Galatians 5:25)
– Having the Holy Spirit come upon us, or being baptized in the Holy Spirit is something different. There’s no set way or time for this to happen, it’s all in God’s timing. You can pray about it, and that’s basically all you can do. When He does come upon you, that’s when you get the spiritual gifts like healing, prophecy, tongues, visions, dreams, etc. (Acts 2: 4&17, Mark 16:17-18). Now, from my understanding, God can give you the authority to do these things for maybe a single time or time period, but not officially give you that gift. This is coming from when Jesus gave the disciples the abilities for when they all went out in pairs to share Christ with the different nations. (Matthew 10:5-8). I guess I don’t officially know if those gifts stuck with them after that, but they were at the Pentecost and that’s when the Holy Spirit officially came upon them, so that’s where my logic is coming from.
– The word boldness has also been coming into my head, and then I read about having boldness in God to share the gospel last night in 1 Thess. 2. I don’t want a hesitancy or fear when it comes to sharing Christ with everyone I encounter. There is such an importance to share, and there is such a better life and eternity that I have the power to introduce to people (through God working in me), and I don’t want to have any fears or doubts or shame.
– This next one is a bit heavy, but it was pretty big for me, so I’m going to talk about it. Last week, Liam Payne died. If you know me, you know that I love One Direction. So yes, I was sad when I heard that one of them had died, but that’s not what made me the most upset. I was there laying in bed (I woke up that day to hearing someone yell that he had died), and I was sad, but then the thought struck me “he wasn’t saved”, and I started sobbing. Of course, I didn’t personally know him, so I don’t know this for sure, but it seemed like a sure fact in the moment, and I was heartbroken. Every time I thought about it all day, it was like I was struck with this spirit crushing, gut wrenching feeling. I have prayed so many times that the guys from One Direction would be saved, and thinking that one of them was now going to spend an eternity in hell was one of the most heartbreaking feelings I’ve ever had. I was literally sad about it all day, so much so that I couldn’t really even talk to people. The thought about Liam being in hell made me start thinking about how there are so many people in this world that won’t accept Christ and will go to hell, and the grief I felt for them is almost unexplainable. It actually hurt my heart thinking about it and that there is nothing I can do about it. I can’t physically talk to everyone on the planet and share Christ with them, and even if I did, there would still be many that wouldn’t believe. I wanted to dwell in this sadness, because I didn’t think it was fair or forget it and be happy when something so terrible had just happened and Liam’s family was being affected by it. My mind was basically saying “why should you get to be happy when something so sad happened and others can’t be happy right now, it’s not fair and it’s unthoughtful and inconsiderate”. I was feeling guilty for wanting and starting to feel joy, and it was later explained to me that those thoughts and guilt were from the enemy, because God doesn’t give us guilt. God wants us to be joyful and use the bad for good. The other thing that came out of this was a feeling of hopelessness. My leader, Lucy, told me that I was having God’s heart for him and the rest of His people (which I’ve been told before), and that’s why I was so sad about it, because I was almost feeling some of the grief that God gets about His children that are unsaved and end up dying that way. I started wondering how I was supposed to have God’s heart for His people and feel that grief, yet also move on with my life and feel joyful. It seemed almost impossible at the moment (clearly I was forgetting how much joy the Lord gives me all the time). After talking to my parents and some other people, and also prayer, I came to the decision to not dwell on that sadness, but to use it to fuel my desire, desperation, and boldness for sharing the gospel.
– Last up is joy, which also ties into that last one. This has been something that I haven’t been feeling super strongly, and I feel it mainly when God does something really cool, which is what I want to get the most joy out of. However, I’ve been kind of struggling with the thought of not having as much joy as usual. Then, I read about the fruits of the spirit (the second one being joy), and then in 1 Thess. 1:6, it says “with the joy of the Holy Spirit”. I think that God has been showing me that even if I’m not finding as much joy in the mundane things, I can still get joy from the Holy Spirit and that God wants me to and designed me to feel joy. That’s been giving me some encouragement. (By the way, I’m not saying that I’m sad here, because I’ve been having a great time, it’s just a different kind of joy here than I feel at home around my friends and family).
Ok, so that’s all I have for this blog. I’d like to share some prayer requests, and then that’ll be the end.
– A lot of my squad had been getting sick, so prayer for healing for the sick and protection for those of us who aren’t sick
– Prayer that the Lord would put curiosity in some of the kids of Jesus so that we might be able to share Him with them
– More opportunities for evangelism for those who aren’t Muslim, and boldness to take that opportunity
– Continual faith that the Lord will provide the rest of my funds, because it’s a little discouraging to not see any more support come in for months on end
Thank you for reading and keeping up with what God has been doing. Again, I ask for your continued support through prayer and funds (also, if you could share what I’m doing with people you know, especially if you know that they have a heart for missionaries and then give me their contact information maybe, that would be greatly appreciated). You can click here to reach my fundraising page. Thanks, love y’all!
Love, Gabi
