My Banner of Freedom
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge Hosea 4:6
Dedicated to the ones whose faces were on the floor before the Lord and whose hands went up to heaven to fight for me in the spirit.
As you probably guessed, a lot of things happened over the course of 9 months. The Race was full of growing in my knowledge of the Lord, character development, hands on experience in the Kingdom. One thing I remember going into this Race was my fire. I was so on fire for the Lord and for people to know Him that I didn’t even stop to think what the Lord wanted to give me. I thought about what I would lose, the things that would fall away, but I didn’t think about what I would receive. The one thing that the Lord had been eager to give me was more freedom. More than I ever thought could happen. I learned that freedom never ends. There’s always more.
I was getting pretty nervous about writing this blog. It’s not something that people talk about in church but someone’s voice needs be stripped of cowardliness and be moved to sound. I feel the Lord’s call for my voice to be one of those.
Unblind the Minds
People come in on Sunday mornings to worship the Lord with community, and they sit down to hear the pastor preach a message and then they leave, going on about their day. There are many different types of people in that building. Some people in those congregations aren’t saved and the Lord is tending to their hearts, others are saved and their eyes aren’t open to the deep intimacy that’s available through the Blood, and others in that room have a relationship with the Lord and yet they don’t know they need deliverance. Yes. I’m talking about the Church. Deliverance isn’t just for the unsaved souls on the street, but for the Church. The Lord wants a clean and spotless bride. The Lord aches to bring freedom to the captives….and I was a captive for a very long time, and didn’t even know.
This is the story of how the Lord set this captive free.
I’m trusting the Lord will deliver this message with such divine timeliness. May my words be anointed over the ears that hear this and the eyes that see. “Whoever has ears let them hear and whoever has eyes let them see.”
The Beginning
A couple of months before the Race even started I had this dream of me in my room. My room has been painted a few times now but in this dream it was the first color I’ve ever painted it, as if we just moved in…. 14 years ago. Besides the color of the walls, nothing was in my room except for me and 7 demons disguised as humans. In this dream I knew they were demons, it was as if I were a spy. The first scene of the dream the demons were planning to kill. I remember it was night time, and through the window I saw snow on the ground. It was winter. While they went out to murder, the three other demons and I went to the closet and talked. I didn’t hear anything about what they said, all I know is that they talked a lot, and all their words were tainted with death and decay. They were liars. The four demons came back and opened my closet door covered in blood. “Your turn” they said. The scene ends and the next starts with all of us standing in the middle of my room, they were paired up with one another bragging about which demon they were from. “Yeah I’m Son of _____, who are you from?” they would say. It got to me and I was paired up with one of them. They all stared and waited for my reply. “I am Jesus’ daughter.” Their faces shocked, scared. They didn’t move until they finally wanted to reveal what was underneath. Their human skin melted and revealed the pitch black skin underneath. They revealed their true selves, they were demons.
I woke up and my first thoughts were “the name Jesus is powerful and by me telling them my identity, they got scared! That’s pretty sick!” But that’s not all the Lord was telling me. He was telling me that I had 7 evil spirits attached to me.
Training Camp
In training camp I went through a few experiences where I was either leading our squad in worship, giving people words from the Lord or telling a group of people something that was in the Bible, something scriptural. After I obeyed the Lord in what I felt like He was telling me to say or do. I would get this rushing waves of thoughts “Shut up, Don’t ever say that again. Don’t do that. Just be quiet. You’re so stupid. No one cares what you have to say.” Before I met the Lord, my life was quiet. I didn’t have those voices in my head dragging me down because the devil didn’t need to pull me in his direction, I was already walking in it. As we follow the Lord, He pulls us into more sanctification, more refinement, so all the other things that aren’t of the Lord start to be revealed in the light. We need to be prepared to let them go and watch them fall away, allow the Lord to deliver us. This is when the enemy gets loud and comes in with lies so well twisted they sound like the truth.
But I’ve been dealing with that since right around the time of YWAM (2022), right when I was getting into ministry, finding the treasures of Christ.
It was revealed to me just how much it affected me then. My thoughts were “I guess it’s just the way I am, the way it will always be for me.” Overwhelming anxiety would come over me, I couldn’t control the thoughts, it was uncomfortable. I couldn’t escape. I felt so trapped and just sat and took it, trying to feed my soul truth. “God loves me, He’s proud of me, I obeyed what I think He was saying.” Any truth that I would search for in those chaotic moments I would say to myself. It happened so much all the time where I would just ball up and hold my head and cried as I prayed to the Lord. So as I was saying, it happened a few times in training camp. One time I couldn’t take it anymore and I went to one of the male leaders, Ethan Johnston. First thing you should know about it him is that he’s awesome. The rest of what you should know: the Lord has given him quite a bit of authority in the kingdom of Heaven!! And I knew I needed to go up to him for some reason and say something, unsure of what would come up out of my mouth, I walked up to him full of anxiety, crying, telling him what was going on in my head. He would calm me down with some breathing exercises, talk to me, and pray for me. He said “Lexi, I think you need deliverance.” Unsure of what that really looked like for me, I was in the mindset of like “okay I don’t really fully understand was that means, but if the Lord wants it for me then I want it.”In the bible it talks about demons being casted out and the spiritual realm, stuff like that. People talking about this stuff never bothered me, scared me or made me uncomfortable, I was so interested. I walked away and tried to get my mind off of the harsh emotions I just went through. I would say this happened about 3 more times. Each time Ethan would say “I keep hearing the word deliverance for you.” We talked about it some more. Went to one of my mentors, Ari. Things you need to know about her: she’s a beautiful strong woman of God who hears from the Lord!! One of the things I love about her is her holy anger towards the enemy. I talked with her about what I was experiencing and what Ethan had told me. I was a hot mess. She starts laughing at the enemy “He’s a little punk trying to hide himself!” And I kept telling her “what if it’s just me?”
That’s it.
That’s what got me.
“What if it’s just me?”
The lie of the century. “It’s just me.” The lie that held me in bondage for so long. I lived like this for so LONG that I didn’t even know what it was like to be without the things I was experiencing- without them.
Cambodia/ Thailand
A month later, I am in Cambodia. I end up talking to a few more leaders, getting wisdom and insight, and I don’t hear anything else about deliverance. 2 months go by and I’m in Thailand now, and the Lord is clearly speaking about “clean”. He used the book “Hind’s feet on High Places” by Hannah Hurnard to speak to me about how He’s taking me up to the first High Places of the mountains out of thousands. “‘It is quite true that the way up to the High Places is both difficult and dangerous,’ said the Shepherd. ‘It has to be, so that nothing which is an enemy of Love can make the ascent and invade the Kingdom. Nothing blemished or in any way imperfect is allowed there… perfect love casteth out fear and everything that torments’” (excerpt from Hinds’ Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard). I wrote my own blog about the way He spoke to me during this season. I literally felt the intensity of the climb. In Thailand, we went 4 hours away to go to a village. Our hosts had warned us about the spiritual warfare there so as two teams (Israel and Yada), we did a prayer burn. We had set times for two people per hour praying for our time in this village for half of the day. The drive was long, windy, and cold, but beautiful. We were in the mountains of Thailand, looking at amazing views of the stars. As we arrived, we unloaded our stuff. It was around 10 PM. I had experienced some spiritual things that aren’t very crystal clear to this day, but I ended up manifesting. Now, the word manifesting might seem strange or scary to you, but it’s not. Manifesting in the context of deliverance can refer to the manifest presence of God or the manifest presence of demons. 3 1/2 hours later I had been delivered from 3 of them.
For a demon to have a stronghold on you, you can have many things like unforgiveness, anger/ bitterness towards someone, sin you need to repent for, generational curses that are passed down to you, ungodly beliefs, soul ties, pockets of trauma. Things like these make them stay. Scripture says “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” The spiritual realm is more real than the physical and the enemy wants to steal from you, kill you, and destroy you. He goes around looking for things to attach to, which is called a stronghold. AND JESUS CAN SAVE YOU FROM ALL OF THIS!!
Two days later, I end up manifesting again. Another 3 1/2 hours later I was delivered from another evil spirit. This was the moment that the Lord had brought to my memory of the dream of me and the 7 demons. The Lord gave me revelation of what the dream really meant.
The day after my deliverance, Ethan asked me if I knew how many were left. The Lord gave me this image of three bricks stacked as one. And so I said “one or three, but not two.”
Three bricks stacked as one
They were trying to exalt themselves before the Lord.
But it must be brought low.
Everything must be brought low before the Lord.
South Africa
I entered into South Africa with a prophetic word of healing from Ari and what the Lord wanted to do in my heart. But I knew now that I was waiting on another deliverance from the Lord. Will it happen here? I thought. This was a very different and challenging country. Very different from the rest. Ministry was awkward with how inconsistent it was, spiritual warfare was different, people, language.
In this country I felt like the Lord was silent. Had no idea what He was doing, but I knew I was hurting in my heart. The Lord had shown me wounds of my past He wanted to heal and the pain was on my mind most of the time. I was continuously pressing into the Lord and seeking His face. The Lord didn’t show up how I expected Him to, but He did. He showed me His faithfulness to heal the wound of abandonment. His unfailing love endured. It was a long and difficult two months of me trying to connect the dots myself, trying to quicken the healing process, figure out when He was going to come in as deliver again, and getting exhausted from doing so in my own strength and trying to take control. But let me tell you His timing was so divine!!! He’s so orderly. He knows what He’s doing! He had to heal more of my heart before He could give me the freedom. I had to be able to steward and hold that. My cup was not yet available to do so. He made room for the blessing of freedom.
Guatemala
I entered into Guatemala better off than when I arrived in South Africa. The Lord’s love had mended my heart a lot and was ready to take on what the Lord had for me next. At this point I had kinda let go of all the deliverance stuff and simply was trusting the Lord in His timing. He would be the one to bring it to my attention and I didn’t have to go and search for it.
About the third week of Guatemala, our squad hosted a House Church and Ethan Johnston was preaching. He gave a message about baptism of the Holy Spirit. Like I said before, the Lord has lead him in a lot of spiritual authority and every spirit I had hated what he was talking about. Everything he was saying was from scripture and the enemy hated it. The presence of the Lord was so strong in that room and I began to manifest again. “For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” The demons had to flee!! This time during my deliverance session, two more came out in an hour. After this I felt the heaviness in my chest go and this abundance of lightness came. I could literally physically breathe so much better. So much joy came, I WAS SO LIGHT IT FELT LIKE I COULD JUMP HIGHER!!
A week goes by and the Lord is speaking to some leaders, telling them to fast to prepare for the deliverance. They knew the Lord was about to present the next opportunity for the deliverance.
I had just recently lead my squad, alongside others, into worship one Sunday morning for House Church. The enemy HATED that. I began manifesting afterwards but had no idea. Two days pass and I still haven’t even realized it yet. Looking back on it now, yes I understood. All the signs were there. Hatred towards everyone walking in the Spirit, anger towards God, bitterness, irritability, no patience, basically everything opposite of the fruits of the Spirit.
One night, everyone who was around me at that time realized what was happening and told the leaders. While the leaders prayed and asked the Lord if it was time and how the Lord wanted them to go about it, the people who were around me that night started speaking scripture over me. As this was happening, the Lord slowly gathered the whole squad together little by little to stand out of the door of the room I was in. They all sang and worshipped the Lord for about 4 hours straight and against their will, they had to stop and go to bed in order to go to ministry the next day.
Let me tell you the demon that was manifesting hated that worship. It hated God and hated me and wanted to kill me, it wanted to kill everyone who was singing those praises and praying for me. Eight hours of leaders rebuking, communicating with the Lord, me repenting for my sins, and fighting for my life. The verse of that night was “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” They were able to stand in that room for eight hours because they relied on the joy of the Lord. I received a LOT of freedom that night, but not all of it. All the leaders including myself were confused. Why didn’t He finish it? So, they discussed what they were discerning from the Lord, what might be the hindrance to my freedom. Days later the Lord reveals to me why He didn’t finish it: the freedom that was coming was too much for me to handle. He was withholding a memory, but He would reveal it to me when it was time. He cared about me so much and wanted me to steward my freedom and not get tripped up on it and stumble. He wanted my feet placed on solid ground. A solid foundation. He was watching out for me! But not only was I receiving freedom, other people on my squad were, and people were receiving the gift of tongues and other gifts of the Holy Spirit!!
During this long night, the Lord stirred the heart of one of my teammates to write a poem of the things the Lord was doing around her.
WORDS OF FREEDOM
A poem by Maddie Lynch
the words of our lips
read the music sheets of heaven
spoken truth that spills colors into sinking deep seas that no man could ever touch if they wanted to
how could we ever fathom the depths yet talk to the one who holds them?
still yourself to take a listen
of the chains echoing inside heart’s prisons
of the battles being fought with words for swords, the most powerful weapon chosen
a seeking redeeming cry in the open
oh how quick the darkness runs at that sound
our syllables paint the floors of this house
with life, a holy color
among the ground with which we walk
lie the love letters to those who suffer
and look at the door!
it’ll tell you too
read plastered words of His holy truth
painted boldly through the doorstop and knobs
scripts from the mouth of a Holy God
and to touch the blankets within our beds
would mean to brush our fingers against the Psalms that’s letters hold tight the stitches
of the quilts and pillows but also maybe our hearts and minds
words true forever one of a kind
the clicking sound of the vowels embedded in the walls
that the darkness wants to bind and swallow
for no word that comes from you could ever be near to touch something so hollow
Yes this is the house of your words
the halls that tell tales of a trillion truths
that darkness can’t hear
and evil can’t sit in
the wide open door of an unbreakable prison
and the chains that mock the captive
now twirling ribbons of scripture,
round and round of the arms that now lift high the banner freedom
your kingdom we keep
your face we seek
walk through the halls as we paint them over and over and over in our tongue
for here in this house lie the language of freedom,
have you ever heard a more beautiful sound?
The Last Chain
After this long deliverance, I was really just completely over it all. I hated manifesting. I had two kingdoms at battle in me and didn’t want to struggle anymore. I hated the process of the deliverance, it was so tiring on my physical body and my mind. I was just tired. I didn’t want to go through it again for a fifth time.
A week goes by and I end up manifesting again during one of my team times doing a Bible Study on Ephesians 4. The Word of the Lord is alive and active. The Word is Truth. HE is truth. The demons had to go!! And He was so gentle this time! The Lord simply revealed to me what the last little ground it had, and it was something I hadn’t thought about at all. It was something so deep within me that when I humbled myself before the Lord, bowed at His feet, and repented, I gained a lot more freedom. I ended up going into the deliverance room again with the leaders and they heard from the Lord to have the perspective of a gentle and calming rebuke for the deliverance. So they sat me down, spoke my identity over me and calmed me down because I was in such sorrow of the huge revelation of my sin that I was just weeping before the Lord. Once they calmed me down, Jesus gave them words of knowledge about other sins I needed to repent of that went along with the other one. It was stuff I didn’t even think about, not ever. So it was so Holy Spirit anointed and guided. That demon left me that session.
The thing about this session was none of us knew if I was actually set free. There wasn’t a really a release like all the other times. After we discussed a little bit, we walked out of that room unsure of if I actually was, but leaning more towards the side of that I was. The next day I felt so much rage and hatred and push back when I was trying to spend time with the Lord. Everything I experienced before the deliverances was back. I was so frustrated. Am I really not free? Is this just my body reacting to the way it usually did when I tried to sit and spend with the Lord when I was bound up? Or was the enemy trying to lie to me and say I am not free?
The Good Fight of Faith
I kept pursuing the Lord, fighting harder than I ever have before to seek His face. The enemy hated that I was free. He hated that I used to be his, that he had power over some of me. He wanted to come and taunt me, make me think I wasn’t free. I mean everywhere I looked there were lies, lies that even contradicted themselves. If I thought I was free, the enemy would come in with “No. I’m still here.” And if I thought I wasn’t free the enemy would say “It’s just you. There is no freedom for you. It’s just how it is.” Lies like that were all across the board. Every day. It was tiring. The next couple of weeks it was like that. The next thoughts and lies that came in were “it’s better and easier to be bound up with the spirits than to have the freedom. It’s not going to get easier. Just wish to be bound up again.” I had to fight for my freedom. The Lord brought the book of Joshua to mind: the Lord finally led Joshua into the promised land but he still had to fight to continue to take over the REST of the land. The victory was already his, but he had to fight the little battles. The Lord wanted to teach me how to fight. The Lord gave someone a word for me: just like when fresh concrete is poured, the Lord has laid the foundation of my faith. It’s being solidified! There’s a rope around the foundation of the wet cement that’s solidifying. The enemy is behind the rope screaming with all the demons trying to get back in but the Lord is holding them back. The freedom is solidifying. This foundation is solidifying!! I’M DRENCHED IN FREEDOM!!
In this cement vision, the Lord takes my hand in his and places it in the concrete as a mark of remembrance and the many great things that are going to be built upon it. He signs it. The cement dries. It’s the eternal foundation that can’t be shaken.
It’s Not Normal
Another dream I had during the race:
It was one of my squad mentors, Ari, the one I mentioned before.
There was a room. It was wooden and old. Creaky floors, chipped of wood from doors, chipped off paint from bed frames, rusty metal. It was worn. And there was a closet with the door open and there was one hanger on the pole. It was also wooden with a metal hook. Ari walks in the room and gets close to the hanger and says with authority “every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.” She sits there and just smiles with all the love in her eyes. My view cuts to the hanger and a slow build to a climax. I felt the disruption of her words that were alive. And then I woke up, knowing the hanger represented a demon, an evil spirit.
I told her the dream and the Lord spoke some things to her about it and to me, He showed me it was a hanger. A hanger. In a room. Nothing out of the ordinary. And the things that we deal with that we think are normal aren’t normal. It’s the enemy hiding in plain sight. I claimed everything that was in my head as me. I thought it was normal. It wasn’t normal. I needed deliverance. Now, I’m not saying there is a demon behind every bush, but maybe every fourth bush (lol). Check the things in your life. There are only two kingdoms: Heaven and Hell. Good News: God rules above everything. The Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.
Open Our Eyes
Don’t settle for anything less than what He died for!! There’s more freedom NOW. He is available to approach NOW. Your portion is available NOW. He wants to give it to you NOW. Freedom from sin is available NOW. Freedom from thought patterns is available NOW. THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND. It’s here, it’s NOW. It’s available ALL because Jesus made the Way!!
Let the Lord wake up your soul and show you what He died for. He’s not done yet!! There’s always more of Him!! More peace, more joy, more forgiveness, more grace, more mercy, more love, more deliverance!!! And it’s all simply because He’s jealous for our affection! He’s jealous for our full devotion and attention!! He’s jealous because He wants us to be fully His! SONSHIP AND DAUGHTERSHIP! We don’t have a spirit of orphans, but a spirit that cries out “Abba, Father”!!
Deliverer Unto Death
So how did I know if I was fully free? How did I know if it still had grounds? I came to the conclusion that I was going to believe that I was free unless the Lord said otherwise. Even if I wasn’t fully free, the Lord would still deliver me. If I was free, the Lord would still deliver me. He is a deliver. He delivers unto death just as He is my Savior, saving unto death. He doesn’t just do it once… or five times. He continually does it. I’m not done receiving freedom, I’m not done being delivered, and you aren’t either. There’s more. Now, me being delivered might not look at the same as before. Him delivering me might look like Him walking me through character flaws, it’s different every time. It’s different for everyone.
All I know is that He didn’t just do this for me, He did it for MY family, my children, the generations to come. I get to help people and walk them through what I did. WHAT AN AMAZING BLESSING!!
So when I started to believe it, and set my mind on the realities of Heaven. The fruit that was there showed I was free. So in conclusion. I HAVE RECEIVED FULL FREEDOM!!! GLORY TO GOD WHOSE THRONE IS ABOVE EVERY OTHER.
A Poem to me from the Lord
By Maddie Lynch
roses that bleed red the blood spilled willingly upon you
its sweet scent holding freedom that was always meant to be yours.
the fern’s fingers in the position of the hands that have prayed for you
those prayers etched into its braided veins, for how the Lord loves to read them over and over.
the weight of the dew sinking the tulips to their knees, bathed in a royal blue
resemble the way the father has been on his knees all this time, fighting many battles for you.
and I hope you dance and sing and play in this garden for what feels forever
the Lord saw you dragging out the watering can when you couldn’t see any rain
The Lord saw you planting seeds into a blinding hope’s earth through the lowly crescents of pain
you are what the Lord calls righteous
calls persistent to His path
and calls humble
and to the faithful the Lord shows himself faithful
oh what a beautiful garden he has prepared for you all this time!!
and what a beautiful person He has prepared it for!
your eyes silent echoes of what the Lord is speaking
and you have a voice that is not coward to move itself to sound when it is needs to
you steward the colors of the paintings of visions he creates so well
oh how He loves to give them to you!
you aren’t afraid to share the Lords beauty
maybe that’s why He gives you so much of it
such a beautiful garden to behold forever
flowers planted knowingly to be picked by you
but also by the ones you will shepherd, into beholding His glorious face
into a home that lasts forever.
yes a forever kind of freedom!!!!!!!
You too, can have freedom. Run into the arms of the Father and watch Him chip away the things that were never meant to be. It will hurt, it will be hard, but the fight is worth it.
If you have any questions about what I experienced, questions about deliverance, or you want to know other things the Lord showed me on this trip, please email me! I will love to schedule to sit down with you!!
email: [email protected]
Next Steps
I am officially home in North Carolina!! I will be for the next week and then move to Lexington, VA with Aubrey whom I did the Race with! I will spend 3 months there working at Young Life Rockbridge. Then…
I’M GOING BACK ON THE FIELD INTO THE 10/40 WINDOW TO SOUTH ASIA AND NEPAL!!
The Lord placed the 10/40 window on my heart a while back in 2022. This is where the most unreached people groups are in the world. This August I will be partnering with Adventures in Missions again for 4 months in their 10/40 window route to share the Gospel!!!
We will either be placed in a ministry or we will ask the Lord who He wants us to partner with, where He wants us to go, and also inviting him into our plans and seeing the Holy Spirit move! This will be challenging and an opportunity to grow more in hearing the Lord’s voice and walking in the gifts of the Holy Spirit that I have received!!
I WOULD LOVE YOUR PARTNERSHIP TO BRING THE KINGDOM OF GOD TO THE NATIONS!!! I don’t have a set goal to meet for fundraising yet or a link for you to directly donate, but I will post updates!! As of right now, if you would like to partner with me, you can pray and/or venmo me: Lexi-Blatt
THANK YOU SO MUCH, GOD BLESS !!
Until next time,
Lexi B
I will now lift high my banner of freedom to the nations to tell of what the Lord has done.
“I will cleanse them of their sins against me and forgive all their sins of rebellion. Then this city will bring me joy, glory, and honor before all the nations of the earth! The people of the world will see all the good I do for my people, and they will tremble with awe at the peace and prosperity I provide for them.“
Jeremiah 33:8-9
