Hello my favorite people!! I hope you all are thriving! 🙂
This week, like all the others, has been incredibly impactful and I can confidently say that I’ve learned something new every single day. I wanted this blog to be a bit more vulnerable and so I’ll do ya’ll a favor and let you into my head and heart space for a second here. I’d be lying if I said that all of it has been glamorous, but God had been so kind and patient with me and has walked me through a lot of different processes.
At the beginning of this trip, I had to work through a lot of ugly feelings. I was dealing with frustration, resentment, pride, and unforgiveness in various aspects of my life. Because of this, I came on this trip with the hope that God would heal parts of me that were hurt, take me out of my comfort zone, and show me His heart in a new light. I’ve found that no matter how many feelings I’m experiencing, my God is not one to shy away from me or the big things I feel. The incredible things I’ve been blessed to witness and participate in here in Nicaragua has truly shown me an entirely new side to God. While many of the people here live a life quite different than mine, theres a sense of peace and gentleness that surrounds them. It repeats the words “even if… (fill in the blank) I will still praise Him”. I can’t say with confidence that I’ve lived out my faith like this and definitely wasn’t when I first set out on this adventure.
This past week, God has gently humbled me in my big emotions and has reminded me of His sovereignty in my life. I was reminded through various scriptures that trials are a BLESSING. The frustration that I am experiencing is a BLESSING. The pain that I endured is a BLESSING. My lack of understanding is a BLESSING. Though I may not understand in the moment why these feelings have such a strong presence in my heart, I can trust that God is not faltering and I can praise Him regardless. I know that He is not rejoicing in my suffering or frustration but He IS using it to purify my faith like gold.
1 Peter 1:6-7 says this, “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by many trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith – more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire – may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the Revelation of Jesus Christ”.
And James 1:2-4 (a well known passage that is near and dear to my heart), “count it all joy my brothers when you face trials of various kinds for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing”.
God has been so kind in His constant pursuit of helping me to hear and see this. While I’m sure I’ve heard it so many times in my life, I think He’s finally made His message’s way into my heart. I’m not perfect – I don’t plan on ever attempting to be – and so I do still have heavy emotions to work through with Him, but I know that this journey will prove to be ever fruitful and valuable. I’m looking forward to seeing more of God’s heart in the weeks to come!
I love and miss you all BIG!
Your truly,
Em 🙂
