walking around the streets of Guatemala I have fallen in love with the different kinds of doors. maybe that sounds weird but it’s true. the colors, the wood, the metal, the different door knobs, the lack of door knobs sometimes, all of it. some lead to houses or stores, others who knows where. I am naturally a very curious person so I am led to wonder or explore what is behind them. something about Guatemala that differs vastly from the United States is that people just leave their doors open. at night and during the day, you can walk by someone’s house and see straight into their lives. a lot is on display for the world (I have seen a lot of naked toddlers running around houses…but that’s beside the point). the doors I have captured on my low-quality but memory-capturing phone are all closed ones to maintain people’s privacy but I have also seen it as a metaphor. a metaphor for life. my life. now I am not really talking about God opening and closing doors, even though I could also talk a while on that topic. I am talking about vulnerability again. it’s a lesson I feel God teaches me quite often which means I clearly haven’t caught on yet. but hey there is grace. anyways…since living in such an intentional and close (both proximity and relationally) community/team. honestly has been a key component of community living. it’s been something I have and still and really struggling with. while I don’t always struggle to speak my mind bluntly, I struggle to share the deeper aspects of my life. I fear being judged and coming off as imperfect. it’s just hard to share about me. I don’t like talking about me. I don’t like opening up. i desire authenticity from others which means i have to be authentic myself. my team has challenged me in this and so has God. as a result of this experience, I am learning what it means to be honest, open, and more authentic. to let people see the naked toddlers running around my house…yeah okay never mind! the metaphor fails there haha!
thanks for reading!
-ella
