Sorry it’s been awhile since updating you all! We recently hit the halfway point of the race. That’s brought a mix of emotions. We’re definitely feeling the weight of being away from all our friends and family for 6 months yet still being 5 months away from seeing everyone again.
We’re starting to realize that while we do have a lot of time left, our time has been flying by and the race is going to come to an end. With that, thoughts of life after the race are beginning to surface.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the future and stresses of life. I personally (Adrianna) can struggle with being afraid to go outside of God’s will for my life. Thinking and praying about our life after the race has only made this resurface.
Obeying God has been a very strong pursuit of mine and has guided my entire walk with Him. Honestly, I didn’t see anything wrong with that and at first glance, you might not either. However, over the past couple months in Nepal, God has slowly revealed the unhealthiness behind that.
First, the Lord revealed that fear is at the root of this desire. I truly love the Lord and want to be as close to Him as possible but I don’t always operate out of His perfect love for me. I get so afraid of what might happen if I’m not obedient or if I step outside of His will. As a result, fear steps in and is the driving force for my obedience.
Ultimately this fear has paralyzed me in many circumstances. When I’m praying and seeking the Lord, I struggle to step out in faith and trust in Him because I don’t want to make the wrong decision. So instead of potentially making the “wrong” decision, I do nothing.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” 1 John 4:18
It’s good to obey the Lord but He wants us to obey out of our love for Him. We don’t obey so that He will love us. He already loves us.
Through this, God kindly and gently showed me that I had everything out of order. Obedience is a result of our love for God. When we seek Him first, we can receive the fullness of His love and operate out of that.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
By seeking Him first, all else comes into place. Not only that, but there is a deeper intimacy with the Lord that far outweighs anything else. His love is the greatest gift of all!
As I receive more of His love, it will become easier to walk in obedience out of love and not fear. Instead of staying still in fear, I will be able to step out in faith, knowing that the Lord is with me and will guide me back even if I am disobedient. We only have to seek Him.
I’m grateful that the Lord loves us enough to reveal where we’re being led astray and that His grace covers us. Praying that you feel the love and grace of God today.
Adrianna & Adam
