one of two extremely tardy kenyan blog posts
“My girl – God is working on your behalf.”
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A couple times now, the Lord has asked me to sit at the bank of an uncrossable river. With no way across and absolutely no desire to backtrack or backslide, I sit and wait. Wait for and on the Lord God to tell me to ‘go’.
With His guidance and His peace alone, I get to sit and watch the Lord roll up His sleeves and clear a path through all the trees, poison ivy, and weeds that I will eventually get to walk through with Him.
While I am waiting, these are the moments in which the Lord speaks through the quiet whispers, rustling of the leaves, and water trickling quickly over the rocks that make up the floor of the river.
These are the moments that I struggle with the most. I go from heightened mountaintops and lowered valleys where dependency on the Lord and tangibly relying on His presence are the most crucial pieces of my survival to sitting still next to a river letting Him guide and teach me the disciplines of abandonment and selah.
Towards the end of our time in Kenya, this was where He had me.
Here is what we talked about:
‘sold out, sincerely. abandoned.’
Conveniently, during this time, Benjamin William Hastings released his album, ‘Sold Out, Sincerely.’ The title and many of the songs on this album brought me back to a lesson that the Lord had taught me during training camp.
When you go to the store or shop online, whenever that business runs out of supply for one or multiple of their products (more times than not) they will let future customers know by posting/labeling/hanging a sign that says, “Sold Out”.
As children of God, we are promised and provided every single thing (resource) as we need it according to His good and perfect will. And we have the unfathomable blessing of knowing that we are promised a tomorrow with Jesus, whether that’s here on His Earth or back home in Heaven!
Knowing and believing all of this, (as I like to say) the Holy Spirit smacked me upside the head (ALWAYS in love)!
The discipline of abandonment is truly simple. Using the resources (of our breath, heartbeat, thoughts, and love) that He has abundantly blessed us with here, we buy back the time that our flesh so desperately wants to cling to and idolize, and we surrender it totally and completely to Him and His perfect will (to be done here on Earth as it is in Heaven). We become Sold Out for Christ. We have nothing left to offer our own agendas or the things idolized by this world.
We spent everything that He has given to us on Him, to Him, for Him, and through Him. That leaves us abandoned and free, fully open to receive adoption and our inheritance from our Heavenly Father.
Choose to abandon the world and its ways before it inevitably abandons and betrays us.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” – JOHN 3:16-17
“And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil.” – JOHN 3:19
“And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.’ ” – MATTHEW 26:39
“Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, ‘My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.’ ” – MATTHEW 26:42
After all, Jesus was, is, and always will be Sold Out for us!
‘Jesus was ALWAYS plan A’
In this moment right now, this minute during this hour during this day within this week can be lived one of two ways.
With Jesus or without Him.
Yes, we are covered by the most relentlessly loving, grace-filled, and merciful blood of Christ, so that we may rest in the knowledge that with Him not one thing in our lives whether test, trial, or tribulation will go to waste. And He has blessed us with the freedom to choose Him, to choose His will and ways.
So practically speaking- in this lifetime, God has an abundance of opportunities in store for us to make a decision. But the decision truly comes down to this, are you actively or passively choosing Him?
Are you making this decision out of your own head knowledge and will? Knowing that if what you planned goes wrong, at the end of the day, He will pick you back up?
Or are you dropping your agenda and worldly practical thinking down at the feet of the Father and asking at any and every opportunity, ‘Dad, what do You think? What do You think I should do?’ and trusting in faith that the very present, alive, and active Lord God of the UNIVERSE will show up and answer you?
The worldly definition of passivity and activity are the opposite of how Christ calls to live.
He wants us to live WITH Him! Actively making every decision with Him, feeling every emotion with Him, and walking with Him as a best friend goes with a best friend.
Not just using Him as a safety net to our own plans and desires.
He is producing in me an active avoidance of passivity and reliance on my own knowledge to produce decisions. AND He is replacing that thought process with a burning faith that is fully dependent (and I mean FULLY) on Him showing up and me receiving practice in learning, listening, and watching for His voice in my life.
give these songs a listen //
“All I am” – Benjamin William Hastings
https://open.spotify.com/track/4tvZNTcQ8FfjsplmNcBOL9?si=dbecc22ca93c4f2c
“Abandoned” – Benjamin William Hastings
https://open.spotify.com/track/3Ifta450wQYzJb4AB8vvh1?si=451debd3c9084bcd
“Set me on fire” – Benjamin William Hastings
https://open.spotify.com/track/4WMhwQqqa6BkhWshgz9UKf?si=5467022e5bee4474
“If it wasn’t for Jesus” + “Bali” – Benjamin William Hastings
https://open.spotify.com/track/1J3s8vInsichJtmqxI2lff?si=14fd05b3096047de
https://open.spotify.com/track/5bjl8aNtJCQGZMcDcONWYH?si=30f029d611104273
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