I often imagine myself talking to little Sophie. I like to imagine going on a walk with her and wonder what we would talk about; what adventures I would tell her about; what advice I would give. I like to imagine how the younger me would react. How the girl who was over the moon to get one riding lesson for her birthday would react to knowing there was a horseback ride on the beach in store for her. How little things now like two tattoos and a nose ring would have a younger me on the floor in shock. How the girl who was afraid to go to college in fear of homesickness would take the news that I took a year off to travel to new countries with people I’d never met. Or even how September me would find out that team Alabaster, who had been having the most awkward team times, are now trying to find times and flights to see each other after the race is over. These little imaginary dates I have with the younger version of me help me keep things in perspective.
There is a certain awe and wonder that children have that often gets lost as we grow up. When I imagine how me as a child would think and feel and act I hold on to that childlike wonder.
Looking back also shows me how far I’ve come. It helps me reflect on the past and how my views and opinions have changed. It helps me see how much I’ve grown.
We are coming up on the last leg of the race. We see our parents in a week. Then we have two months left on the field and then one more before we head back home. As much as I’m excited to go back to clean sheets in my own bed, driving, choosing what I eat everyday, my family, and my friends, I also know how badly I will miss the experiences and people of this year. The thought of waking up every morning and not seeing my team, not exploring new countries, and not not having this close community of believers who I trust to push me closer to the Lord is a thought that I keep pushing away. Recently I have been nervous and even dreading next year in fear that it won’t live up to this year.
But you know what they say, comparison is the thief of joy. And when I look back and reflect, there are things like the race that I never even thought of as a possibility. The Lord has shown me that there is joy wherever he leads me. I know that as I follow him I will continue to lead a life overflowing with fruit.
