Around February The Lord put the idea of the World race on my heart. To sacrifice my summer to fully serving the Lord both scared me and thrilled me (and it still does). I started praying and asking God if this was what he had planned for me and to show me a sign. I literally was asking God to put a physical billboard in front of my face that said “ GO ” I kept this to myself for a while so I could fully determine if this was truly God speaking to me. That was soooo challenging for me!! Whenever I have anything exciting going on I’m the type of person that runs to my mom and my best friends to tell them first and get their opinion. And I so wanted to!! But I knew this was a decision that I needed to make with hearing only the voice of God.
In March, I went on a mission trip to Buffalo, NY. I got to evangelize for the first time and experience the joy that comes from serving the Lord again. A passage we studied while in Buffalo was Acts 1:8, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” A verse calling His followers to be witnesses to those who are unreached. To share the Good News of Jesus Christ with others. I knew there that God was calling me to the World Race.
Once I came back from buffalo I started the application process and got accepted. Even though I was so sure this was where God was calling me, I still had doubts. I doubted that the Lord could provide the funds for me to go, and I doubted myself, I doubted if I was “holy” enough or good enough of a christian to be a representative of Christ in a place that is so heavily unreached. I never saw my “sign” to go but one morning I was reading my devotional and a specific sentence jumped out at me “God doesn’t always speak through signs but He will always speak through scripture”. Something that I already knew but it was a reminder that I needed at this time. I was clinging to the idea of having such a clear sign instead of relying on His Word, literal words straight from God!!! Once I rested in the comfort of scripture my doubts and anxieties went away. I was constantly coming across passages that aligned with my situation, whether it was whatever passage I was reading that day, the sermon in church, to the verse of the day on the Bible app. All telling me to have faith and trust in the Lord. I realized that by questioning if He could provide funds I doubted an almighty provider. I let my worldly worries blind me from the boundless ability of God.
Throughout this Journey of deciphering God’s will for me, I have been in awe of seeing the way He works and aligns everything perfectly, how He reveals things at just the right moment and reminds me of His overwhelming faithfulness. My fears and worries are natural, it is because of our sinful nature that we doubt the ability of God. As I prepare to leave at the end of May I am reminding myself to turn my focus to the abundant faithfulness of our Father and fully rely on Him to give me the power to be His witness to the ends of the earth.
