This week has been very different from week one. It brought different struggles, yet different things to rejoice in as well. I’m assuming that’s what this entire year is going to look like, which is kind of cool because then I get to focus on how God is moving in me each week.
First off, here are pictures of my squad and my team:
Team Salt and Light
Highlights of the week:
– We had a scenario where we were practicing buying food at a market, and we had to take fake currency and go around in crowds of “homeless”, “drunk”, and “drug selling” people trying to buy food. There were a bunch of different tables that had different food and we had to exchange currency and find the right booths that had what we could afford. They basically had us in a scenario where we would experience almost anything that could happen while we’re at a market, but all at once. It was a lot, but it was kind of cool at the same time.
– We got to go out to Krogers for about four hours and practice evangelizing and praying for random people. A couple of the people I talked to were already saved, which is amazing. I never ended up sharing the gospel with anyone, but I prayed over all of them, which was a sweet time. I’ll have a list at the bottom with the people’s prayer requests if you guys have the desire to pray for them as well.
– I got chosen to be one of the worship coordinators for my squad. We basically are in charge of making sure worship is happening within our squad at least once a week while we’re on the field and then organizing it. I have so many ideas and I’ve really been praying about what the Lord wants worship to look like for my squad this year, so I’m excited to see what happens.
Things I’ve learned about more and experienced:
– The spiritual realm. This isn’t a topic that a lot of people like to talk about because it seems scary and uncomfortable, but it’s real and important to talk and know about. There’s been a lot of talk about the Holy Spirit and allowing Him into you and allowing Him to work though you during our sessions, squad, and team time. That part of the spiritual realm isn’t scary, it’s actually amazing and brings so much light on the glory and love of the Lord. However, there has also been talk and examples of the dark side, which isn’t fun. There was a night where a couple girls on my squad were sensing and experiencing spiritual warfare, and we all gathered around them and were praying over them and anointing them with oil. I have never seen anything like what happened that night, and I wasn’t exactly scared, but very confused and unsettled. One of the girls who got set free from the oppression kept on repeating “there is no fear” and was just praising the Lord. One of my leaders told me that something good had happened and we didn’t have to be afraid. I kept those in my head and read Psalm 91, Ephesians 3:14-21 -a prayer for spiritual strength, and then prayed Ephesians 6:10-18 (the whole armor of God) over myself and my squad. Those really helped me fight any fear that was trying to take hold of me. We then had a debrief about it the next day, and our main squad leader was telling us about how we don’t need to have any fear in the “dark side” because our Father, King, and Savior has already defeated evil and has full authority over it. We can rejoice in the times that the Lord sets people free from darkness and how He unifies us through those moments. If you have questions about it, just comment and I can share about the notes I took from that debrief that would explain it a little more, though I definitely don’t know much.
– Unity. Unity has been a big topic during training camp, but even more this week. It’s so important for the body to be in unity, especially if we’re going to be going into missions together. The people we minister to will be able to see the Lord and His love if we are unified in the way the Lord originally created us to be. Just like in the church, our squad is a body- we’re all different and bring different gifts to the table. All of us are important and were brought here by God for a reason. Also, if each person is focused solely on the Lord, making Him their everything, then the whole squad will have their everything in common, and it will make it so much easier to get along with the people who don’t necessarily mix well with your personality.
– We talked about how to better put together, share, appreciate, and understand your testimony. Being in a squad full of so many people with much harder pasts than I have made me both extremely grateful for my life, but also doubt whether my testimony is good/powerful enough to share and bring people to Christ. First of all, the Lord reminded me that I’m not the one who brings people to Christ, that is all His doing. He works through His vessels to bring people to Him, which He wouldn’t even have to do if He didn’t want to. He’s powerful enough to bring people to Him all by Himself. Second, He gave each of us our testimony for a reason. He promises to use all things for good for those who are called according to His purpose. So, no matter how heavy, dark, or light your story is, the Lord can and will use it. Anyways, we were told that if you take an overall look at your story, and find the common themes, it might open your eyes more to how the Lord has worked and also make it easier to tell people. I did that, and I found that a common theme is feeling lonely and trying to find a sense of love and belonging based off of how close I felt to the people around me and how seen I felt. I’m learning right now how to let go of that desire to feel more seen by the people around me and instead on how close I feel to the Lord. Every time I’ve been feeling really out of place and unseen, instead of feeling unloved and sorry for myself, I’ve been working on praying and spending time with my Father and greatest Friend instead. And honestly, through doing this, I’ve felt closer to Him and also the people around me as well. I shouldn’t be shocked that when you’re following the Lord and growing closer to Him, He’ll give you your desires (if they’re godly and in His will). He is so loving and so kind, it’s amazing.
Revival Night:
– Every Thursday night we have a revival night, which is basically just a night of extended worship. I went into it this week not really feeling it. I’m sick right now, so I was kind of out of it already. I was feeling a bit alone and unseen, and I wasn’t really moved by the songs they were playing. I was standing in the very back just watching people using their gifts that the Lord gave them and seeing people getting prayed over. I was happy for the people I saw getting excited about their gifts, but in my head I was also thinking, “why isn’t anyone seeing me and that I need prayer right now?” A few minutes later this man came up to me and said that he had a vision of me playing hide and seek when I was a kid and being scared that no one was going to come get me and that I was going to be forgotten and left alone. He said that God has found me and that I don’t have to be afraid that He isn’t going to find or come get me because He already has. He has given me an amazing gift. He hasn’t left me behind. He came to find me and that I should rejoice in that.
– I’m not hiding alone in the dark, which is the way I had been feeling for so many days during training camp so far. I’m not kidding when I say that that exact thing that man had a vision about happened to me once. I was playing hide and seek with my brother and cousin, and my cousin was seeking. I hide in this closet that has shelves and an open space at the bottom. I hide at the very bottom and tuck myself into this corner. I had to close the door from the crack at the bottom. Anyways, my cousin ends up opening the door, but doesn’t look under to where I am, and ends up closing the door without seeing me. At first I thought it was funny and was proud of myself for finding a good hiding spot. But then, suddenly what felt like 30 mins had gone by and no one had come to get me. I wasn’t enjoying this game anymore. I felt forgotten, and I was trapped because I couldn’t reach the handle in between the door and the shelves. I was scared. I heard the door open and people leaving the house, and I started panicking and banging on the door while yelling. Someone came and opened the door and I was able to get out.
– After the man walked away, I stood there just smiling and thinking about what he said. So many things were opened up in my mind after hearing that, and I felt much closer with the Lord. I pictured myself back in that closet and being scared, but this time when the door opened it wasn’t Ben (my cousin), it was Jesus. He bends down and looks at me with a smile and His hand reaching out. He pulls me out of the closet and into a hug. I can’t tell you how joyful and loved that made me feel.
– It also made me think of how this relates to a time in my life when I was living in sin. I wanted people to know what I was doing and come stop me because I was trapped and couldn’t get out of it myself, and that door was opened a few times, but no one really saw and pulled me out, and then the door ended up getting closed again. However, Jesus saw and He eventually came and pulled me out of that sin.
– During that revival night, I was so worried about if someone was going to come up to me and say they felt like they needed to pray for me and that they saw me. However, they’re not the ones I need to desire to see me, it’s God, and He already has and does see me. So, there’s no need to worry. Also, He did end up sending someone to me and it led to this picture and understanding that He’s always been right there with me. But also, if He needs to send people to me to show me that, He showed that He will, because He is loving, gracious, and wants me to know how much He cares for and sees me.
Prayer requests:
– Unity for my squad
– Health. A lot of people, including me are either sick or getting sick
– This upcoming week is the last week of official training camp and a desire to feel ready to go into ministry for both domestic and international
– All the people from my day of evangelism (Tammy- life, discernment, wisdom; Patrisha- family, not wanting to worry or stress, strength, faith; Maddie- 3rd time getting pregnant (this is the only successful one so far, she just got past the point of being able to have a miscarriage, so that’s a praise), healthy baby; April- battle with father of her two girls and hoping that he’ll come back to them; Chaz- grandpa having surgery, aunt has breast cancer)
Follow along through my instagram: gabifish23
Thanks for reading! If you have an interest or feel called to help support my trip, here is the link to my fundraising page. Have an amazing day!
Love, Gabi
