“Lord, I don’t want to steal the adventures You have planned for me. Show me how I need to overcome fear – then give me the courage to do it. Amen.” -Sadie Robertson Huff
“Step into it. The unknown. The uncertain. The wilderness. The dream. And you’ll see, fear was never a good enough reason to keep you from living free.” – Tanner Olson
It’s the World Race! It’s finally feeling real, which is both an exciting and terrifying thing.
The past couple weeks have been filled with a lot of mixed emotions. There’s 67 days until my squad meets from all around the country to prepare to do international ministry! It’s finally been hitting that I won’t be spending the majority of the summer stateside, that instead I’ll be doing something I’d never thought I’d do. What a joy! What a blessing it is to partner with the Lord, come alongside people who love King Jesus, share the Gospel, and experience this world that HE created.
A friend sent me a devotional that spoke to our desire of wanting to treat God like a GPS. We want to know the exact way to go, when we’ll get there, and what steps to take along the way. The Lord has been immensely faithful in showing me where He wants me to spend this summer, I don’t want to undermine that. Everything else along the way, and even after the race? I have no clue. But He does, and He’s gonna work it out. I don’t need to know the answer if all He’s saying is, “Trust Me”.
I’ve been learning this year that fear has played a bigger part in my life than I’ve recognized before. It can show up as a suffocating feeling or something that first sneaks in. All of a sudden, and out of seemingly nowhere, you’re terrified and want to throw in the towel. He’s calling you into deeper trust but trust is a scary and refining thing. It means giving up control and that’s not easy. It’s overwhelming and uncertain and so hard to let go of. Fear has stronghold when it sells the lie that it’s keeping you safe. Over the past couple months the Lord has been revealing where this demonic power of fear has had holds in my life. I’ve heard a lot that “you can’t defeat what you don’t define” – and victory is ours in Christ Jesus, the One Whose Name we get to claim over fear and any stronghold.
When going to Rwanda and Ethiopia began to feel “real”, that’s the moment I can pinpoint satan attacked. With fear and uncertainty, with nervousness and anxiety, with doubts and feeling unprepared. Because it’s true, I’m seriously under qualified for this. The closest thing I’ve done is spending most of a summer as a camp counselor. But God didn’t ask me to know everything, He asked me to trust Him. He doesn’t need or want me to do everything in my own sense of strength, He wants to display His strength through my weakness.
The less I think about the race, though, the more I think about the future after it. What school looks like, a looming graduation date, and what life beyond that holds. But He doesn’t need us to know all of the steps, if it’ll be “worth it”, or if we’ll do okay. I’m learning to look at the very next step, as scary as that step can feel, instead of the 100 overwhelming steps ahead of it. In His time, not my own; He’ll adjust my heart posture, work out the steps, and guide me along the path that goes beside quiet waters. Our job is abiding, being still. I want to recognize His constant presence, understanding that any place we walk is holy ground when we walk with Him. On the days when I feel behind, unqualified or scared, I can rest in knowing He’s got this. Jesus is awesome and I know He’ll work it out. He just wants our trust, I know He’s got the rest.
It’s the World Race. And what a blessing that is.
In Him,
Shay
“Nehemiah said, ‘Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.'” – Nehemiah 8:10 NIV
