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UPDATE: We are currently in Malaysia! This is our third day here and we are staying in a church at the moment.
Hello!! In these last few days as our squad has been working on our visions for what we believe God is asking of us in Malaysia, I believe that God has told me a few things. Mostly I believe God has told me that this is a time for healing. I’ve seen the beginning processes of this at training camp, and I believe he has a plan for me to continue that here. As I reflect on life I see two sources of hurt that need to be worked on: bad relationships and little self worth. It has been a humbling experience realizing that I can’t blame these issues on another person. Even if I was wronged by someone, I let that manifest itself into bitterness in the past, and affect how I act and perceive the world now. So, as part of my work I have a few practices I am going to be including daily for a while.
One is asking my squad mates to help remind me of my speech patterns. Processing things done to you is important, but retelling the story and dwelling on it is harmful. It makes a habit of keeping the hurt on you mind without actually diving into the affects it has on your actions and understanding of the world. The other part of that is actually processing the hurt. Again, not retelling the experience over and over, but what that person made you feel and how their actions contributed to self viewing. Dive into the emotion and take responsibility for the habits you developed from them.
Another practice I’m going to be doing is self affirmation. Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe that I am beautiful or valuable. After all it is just me saying that to myself, what if I’m wrong? God on the other hand, is never wrong and HE is the one who tells me I am beautiful and valuable. Who am I to disagree with the creator of the universe? So, I have five “I am…” statements that have Biblical evidence behind them to prove to myself that God says these truths about me. I encourage you to join me in this practice. Find a few things you struggle with in self worth, and see what God says about it. Even if you feel you can’t trust your own thoughts, you can trust his. Say them to yourself each morning and pray on them.
Thank you for reading and I will be praying for you all! I ask you do the same for me, and if at all possible please donate as I continue to fundraise for the race 🙂 Below I have the statements I am currently teaching to myself.
- I am beautiful
- I am made to be loved and adored
- I am worthy of respect
- I am forgiven
- I am important and needed
